Remember last week I wrote about my being an Adult child? Something I have learned is that most adult children grow up to either marry someone with a drinking or drug problem, addiction to something, or we are one ourselves.
We are comfortable with that person because it is familiar to us. You see, my husband is an adult child also. A few of his family members died due to their alcoholism. So it is no wonder we are attracted to each other.
It wasn’t until I got into Al-Anon that we got to talking about our families and all the dysfunction we grew up in. We dragged all that baggage into our marriage and so we did about the same things our parents did.
This is a family disease and everyone is affected by it. With both our families it is generational. That’s when we decided that we had to start to break the pattern. We each had to find out the part that we each played and continue to play it.
We got off that merry-go-round called “Denial,” the big “D” that is uncomfortable. It is a coping tool. I used it many times by telling myself, it is not that bad. I lied to myself and refused to see it for what it is.
It is so much easier living in reality and having members to help me solve our common problems. I must stay in Al-Anon so I don’t slip back into my old behaviors. I have learned not to play that ole’ blame game where it is all about finger pointing and finding a scapegoat for what I did.
Being honest with myself and others. Look for the good not the bad in others. But also to look at reality and when I need help to ask for it.
Won’t you come join us and find out about this deadly disease? Learn how you can help yourself and your family.
We meet every Monday at noon and every Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. at Hope Lutheran Church, Wautoma.
Peace of the program,