Well, we made it through Christmas. For families without a problem drinker, things normally run pretty smoothly.
But for those that live with a problem drinker, we know differently. Even if we can’t look at it...would push those feelings way down, because I would tell myself, this year will be different.
Of course it never was. He would get smashed and make a fool of himself, and I would be so embarrassed, because I thought it was a reflection on me.
Then he would be on the couch most of the next day and not be able to attend the Christmas at the in-laws or his parents... I would try to explain, but knew deep down, they really knew the truth.
It was when I went to Al-Anon that I learned it was not my fault, and I did not have to defend myself. I could tell them the truth if I was brave enough to do that, but of course, I never was. For fear of what he would do if someone would let it slip out.
I put on my “everything’s fine at my house face” and tell myself to smile. Even though we’d had a huge fight over his drinking....again. We did not have a happy Christmas.
I made it worse by fighting with him. I learned I just had to do what was best for me and if he chose to stay...he could explain to his family as to why he did not attend. I learned to keep hands off. If he chose to get drunk every Christmas that was up to him.
I just had to keep going to my meetings, to find out more ways I could change my actions and behaviors.
Now we have New Years, and I am safely in Al-Anon. I have my plan A’s and Plan B’s ready, and when “things begin to get rough, I know I have choices. And I have my phone list to call someone to help me through whatever happens.
I realized I did not have to live that way. There is a better way. Al-Anon has shown me that.
Won’t you come join us? We meet every Wednesday evening at 6:30 and every Monday at noon at Hope Lutheran Church in Wautoma. See you there.
Peace of the program,