The big 4th of July weekend is over and I am looking back at it and realize it was the same old, same ol...him drinking and not caring at all about us, only his fun. He would drink and be the life of the party and the next thing I knew they were quarreling. Why does it have to go that way? I would somehow get involved in it too and the next thing I know him and I are arguing. It ends with me hating him and crying and feeling used and abused and he falls asleep.
The beautiful weekend I imagined was nowhere near that picture, why was I so surprised? It was happening every outing. He would drink to excess and then words are said, taken wrong and I am again feeling like his scapegoat. It’s always my fault. I just did not know how to get off that merry-go-round. I hated it and wanted him to change.
Life would be so much better. Have you heard the saying, “Nothing changes until something changes”? I got to the point that something had to give. I had to get help and was led to the doors of Al-Anon. It was there that I first heard that saying. I had to change. I had to get help for me and my children. I wanted him to get help, but he wouldn’t go so I did. I am so grateful for Al-Anon and all the sharing the members freely give. No advice just experience of what helped them. As the closing says, even though you may not like all of us, we will love you in a very special way.
Won’t you come join us every Tuesday night at 6:30 p.m. at the CAPsell Building in Wautoma, Conference Room C. There is also a meeting every Monday at Noon at Hope Lutheran Church in Wautoma.
Until then, Debbie W.