When I entered Al-Anon, I learned that my helping was not really helping him at all... It just taught him that I would always be there to clean up his messes, and what it did was prolong the drinking... he kept drinking more and more often.
He continued to keep getting into trouble and our home life was unbearable. I yelled and nagged at him constantly. He kept drinking no matter what I did.
Al-Anon taught me that I had choices. The next time he got into trouble due to unpaid fines, I did not go pay them. I left it up to him. If not taken care of, it was his consequence. When he found himself in jail, and called me, I refused to bail him out. They will always find another enabler to “help.”
Al-Anon has taught me to do the opposite of what I was doing. After all what I was doing certainly wasn’t working. By listening to others, I realized I had to let him face his own consequences. I go strong enough to not cover for him, after all that is enabling also. I quit denying that his drinking was not normal and I had to save myself.
Nobody told me it would be easy, but we can do it together, and to “keep coming back.” I thought to myself, if they can do it, so can I... and I did keep coming back!!! I am so glad I did...won’t you come join us?
We meet on Mondays at noon and Wednesdays at 6:30 p.m. at Hope Lutheran Church, Wautoma.
Peace of the program,