Before Al-Anon, I would punish the drinker for hurting me. I felt he hurt me through his words, so I would give him the silent treatment. He hurt me, now I will hurt him. I would go from pity to punish.
Once in Al-Anon, I learned that was not my job. I cannot be judge, jury and executioner. I learned about comparison. Those words were not directed at me. It was his own self hate. I took them on. I learned to not take things personally. I no longer wanted to play the victim.
Before Al-Anon, I would have my own pity party...poor little ole’ me. I would whine to whomever would listen. I lost my friends because of it. They didn’t want to hear it. They had their own problems, they didn’t want to hear about mine.
Once in Al-Anon, I go myself a sponsor. I wanted what she had. She did not whine....she was very positive and I could tell she was handling her problems very nicely. I wanted that. So, I asked her and she said yes. She had been in Al-Anon a few years and was willing to help me.
We became friends. She did not give me a pass. When I was on the pity pot, she helped me get off of it. It was non-productive. I will always be grateful for her.
Before Al-Anon, I was so fearful that one of my drinking family members would hurt someone due to fighting. But once in Al-Anon, I found myself a loving, Higher Power that I could trust to take care of them and if something did take place. He would take care of me.
How reassuring it was for me to go on with my life and leave them to their Higher Power. He loves them far more than I do. I could go on and on, but we both know I must keep this short. So, why not come to the meetings and get help for yourself?
Al-Anon taught me that I cannot change others. It must begin with me. I can change. I am grateful for Al-Anon. I have my life back and a better life than before Al-Anon.
We hold our meetings every Monday at noon and every Wednesday evening at 6:30 at Hope Lutheran Church, Wautoma. Hopefully you can make one or the other.